Cement Angels

life crazy life crazy life crazy. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive that bitch or the bitch in you. I just wanna be this green shirt low pony hand over his heart dork that posed next to sean at the sophomore album comic release. that’s not really true, bc it was my lazy way to describe a photo from that time in my life. I used to stan harder for Nick, but the older I get the more I’m like Sean on Bonet asking a shorty to wear black. life crazy life crazy life crazy. TTYL SMDTFB FTOS

La Terapia

Tomorrow is Sunday, y los Domingo’s son pa Domingiar. Growing up we would be awake before that closest star poked its little head over the horizon, packing the truck w our A frames and plywood for makeshift tables to hold our goods we would then sell at the swap meet. It’s probably my earliest memory of exchanging time and energy for monetary compensation, what a fun rat race it’s been, but all that’s for another day. Later in life we stopped selling and became customers, like clock work every Sunday, pack down whatever family car, head to the swapmeet @ the pico rivera drive-in. We had like a home swapmeet yo, idk about you, but we did. The same way we had a home church or whatever the words may be. Church in South Gate swapmeet in Pico Rivera, and North Long Beach was home home. We would go to others and it would always feel weird, I wasn’t familiar w the map, like I ain’t know where man’s that sold the trading cards was posted at. Where was I gonna score my bag of duros, and more importantly paramount swapmeet didn’t have a vendor who sold car audio systems but also sold cold brewskis to my pops. We often traveled to the indoors too, Gardendale, Pico, Norwalk and would always come back. Eventually the swapmeet stopped happening idk why bc I was baby and idc to google, but it moved or it respawned, to the Pico sports arena. Then that was home and I don’t know when it happened but it did, my pops started calling it la terapia. Like clockwork to get the bad juju of the week prior out and start the week off right, like a therapy session. Go walk, people watch, smash on a bomb breakfast and idk maybe you fuck around and barter yourself some shit. Real talk tho swapmeets were the real treasure trove for film, used to cop double packs of 600, 5 American dollars dawg. COMO SE DICE U WASNT THERE or whatever. there’s no point or anything, at least I don’t think there is rn, lemme get smacked and I’ll let you know if my thoughts have changed, anyway all this triggered by this fucking meme. Hahahahahaha. K TTYL TCCIC KIT

My friend Marshall

wrote this out in 2020, thought I published it, guess not. since I’m always typing what I’m listening to, currently playing Ain’t My Fault by Doe Boy & Rowdy Rebel Ft. 42 Dugg. Okay ttyl, enjoy. oh yeah SMDFTB FTOS.

…

it’s the summer of 2000 we are at the Tijuana International Airport. Standing at an astonishing 5 foot 2 inches, my hair home bleach and spiky hair style being held by an unhealthy amount of clear ice hair gel. I’m wearing my Nike Emmitt Smith Jersey bc clearly I’m American as fuck, Lee pipes on my legs and some forgettable pair of sneakers. We’re headed to Zacatecas to visit my eldest sister who was seen forced to acquire her higher education out of the country bc of bitch ass Pete Wilson and prop 187. Fuck Pete Wilson and his family and his dead homies. She’s studying some shit that I could care less about bc I’m thirteen and only care about rap and football. We board the plane and I pop in my bootlegged version of the Slim Shady LP into my Aiwa CD player and we take off. My sister is graduating in a few days, for whatever reason wether it was a bonding attempt or she wanted to show me a proper university, she brings me along to her school. Given I hated it, I was tagging along talking to 20sum year olds about more shit I don’t care about. Her dude friends are buttering me up and all I can think about is “is this motherfucking trying to put the jux on my sister? fuck this guy.” Ironacally years later mans came out the closet, that’s another story for another entry. The long day finally comes to an end, my sister packs her back pack and we depart the computer lab. Later that night back at my grandmothers house(that doubled as her dorm) she comes up to me “hey lil mimosh, I found this cd in the tower of the computer I was using, I don’t like the music, it’s more your ‘style’” she hands me a white CD, “here if you don’t like it throw it away” but I knew what fucking time it was, I saw the bold capital backwards E on the cd. The Marshall Mathers LP, mine, no weird gaps between songs. I was excited as fuck, like the first porno dvd after only seeing magazines, I was brick. Months pass my sister leaves Mexico to do her final semester in Europe, and she comes home to LA when that’s over. By that time I studied, worshiped, and recited that album. But I was 14, I didn’t know shit about fuck, and I used context to figure out most words, but one word in particular I didn’t know. In those times we didn’t have internet at home and I wasn’t going to the library bc that shit is for dorks right? I muster up the courage, bc she’s the most educated person i know at the time that isn’t a teacher, I walk into the kitchen where she’s helping clean up after dinner and I ask “Sister, umm can I ask you something?” “Sure” she responds “what’s a clitoris?” Her face frozen, her pale skin suddenly somehow even more pale “well lil mimosh, it’s part of the female anatomy. who used that word?” shit! fuck! I didn’t expect the third degree in a panic I blurt out “my friend” “WHAT FRIEND!?” “Uhh my friend Marshall.” fin.

the only side

we’re having a congratulatory BBQ at work, it’s dumb hot, we’re all in work boots and denims. ASCO. i wore my CSULBxPOLYxProper hat today. it’s a favorite, dirtbag fitted in the jackrabbit colorway. MF CHEFS KISS DAWG. Anyway I’m minding my business bc it’s good practice right? Some foo in a dodger hat asks “you from Long Beach homie?” in that tone, you know the one, not too forward but definitely inquisitive.”something like that” I answer, “from LAish, HBU” “IM FROM WHITTIER” He counters,”whereabouts? What cross streets? What side?” I ask, he hits me with “the only side, SOUTH SIDE”. it made me miss home. HA! anyway here’s the hat. It’s blooms bday and I didn’t make the post. tal ves despues. TTYL TCCIC SMDFTB FTOS

gate 25A

something about the smell outside of LAX that throws me into a time machine and I’m 15 again, taking 2 bus routes and a train to my job, Im listening to g&e pussy like elixir. Okay back to the regularly scheduled program.

I was supposed to write a bunch of shit before I made any entry but whatever ay, giveon lie again is playing, ironically LAX was less hectic than SEATAC. we dumb early, turbo won’t stop whining she ain’t fucking having it. this trip was almost perfect, almost famous, word to the Corey’s. It’s getting harder to hug & kiss my loved ones goodbye, idk what that means ultimately, processing brand new feelings is SO TIGHT. I shot plenty fotos, 2 drops at Betty’s 💕, extracted some files from the home desktop. I thought I’d get introspective bc I was feeling all the emotions about an hour ago, but it’s gone now. I will say this tho, 12 days home & dry, fingers crossed ke no? when the sun set I see y’all tomorrow. i wanna always include a photo. So here’s one that’s making the IG feed. And if anyones asking that’s the old c41 Kodak shit. I love you forever. TTYL TCCIC KIT.

TTYL TCCIC BB

one of my best friends moved back to LBC today, I’m bummed I won’t have a homie homie up here, but I’ll see you soon and you’ll be back soon enough. I love you B, gonna miss our family dinners and the digitized induced fifa panic attacks. luv u twin 🤞🏼.

here a flick of B & Kie last week.

Una Calentada

yeah so the year is 2003 it’s February but February in southern California so like “summer-lite” if you must, a “diet summer” of sorts. tbh tho I’ve been sitting on this entry for a couple months bc it’s just some funny shit at this point but I was still 100% a shy guy to share. Additionally the entry title was in reference to some shit that’s now a blur bc that clever line wasn’t written down. aight so whatever it’s 2003 I’m a shithead junior in high school and all I care about is fucking west coast underground hip hop and not like unsigned but “underground”. at this time I had already worked at least one or two summer at Carl’s Jr., s/o David for lacing me w that job and at a managers pay $8.25 baby! aight so that’s enough background, or is it? Oh yeah so I used ALL, if not 87% of my funds to buy music. hella trips to lovells, penny lane, stacks. okay so it’s February right? and it’s hot, like glistening hot. I’m sitting under the lemon tree in the backyard serving my punishment. I’m breaking all my CDs as punishment for being expelled. i said it’s glistening hot right? moms knew I loved music and didn’t know how to further punish me bc at this point the ass beatings ain’t really doing damage(s/o sage francis). so there I am, it’s a Sunday I think, could’ve been a fucking Friday, those days between expulsion and re-admitting are a fucking blur. So Sunday and it’s dumb hot outside i sit there cross cross apple sauce bc we ain’t appropriating shit round here…maybe. Criss cross apple sauce and… you know when you’re smizzed at the bar/club and you can see all those particles flying through the smoke/lights? Well that’s what I seeing, motherfucking speckles of paint dancing in the sunlight, free falling onto my hot dog looking arms, you know the dog, the one that’s been sitting on the roller for far too long. I’m sobbing uncontrollably, “murs rules the world” breaks and there’s more paint confetti coming down from the heavens, like I I just won the trauma championship or something iono LOLOL. so that’s it, my punishment, break all your CDs for flipping off the teacher. I’m not saying I’m in the right but I’m not in the wrong, and Paul you’re a bitch for that, never forgive never forget. I was expelled bc a year one teacher decided that being the “cool” teacher was not for him upon his mid year review. he joked, I joked back, expelled. Moms swoops from school then proceeds to beat my ass like she’s Dwight Schrute or something. Ahhh there it is, so before I even decided I wanted to write this I spoke to my moms about it and how during my expulsion, one day mid sleep she woke me up whipping me w the belt and my loving mother jokingly said “necesitabas una calentada” LOLOLOLOL it’s all jokes now but boy was it fucked then innit. so while I’m expelled and we’re searching for a new school district I plead my case w my moms that the teacher was talking cat shit first and she actually takes my side, Monday comes along she causes a stink and I’m back at Santa Fe, but now my schedules all fucked bc I can’t be in that lames class. tbh I didn’t know that experience fucked me up, until years later, and I’m smacked city getting john blazed in the AMC bathroom, I walk back into the theatre I don’t remember who was all there, but my eldest nephew is there. fin was there w his seeds or seed idk but we watching coco, and when the moms smashes his guitar I cried 56 nights yo. fucking triggered hahahahahaha. thank you for coming to story time w your tio DIY. here’s two images to bring it home LOL. TTYL FUCKOS.

as always and most importantly

FTOS SMDFTB DARKMEAT

a photo of myself in the element shirt months prior to the incident w the aforementioned teacher.

almost a month but nah

first of the fucking rams did the damn thing eh? SMDFTB FTOS 4L. okay now that the important stuff is out of the way, I wanted to share or whatever this is, screaming in the woods i guess. The overly dramatic truth by El-P is playing rn, big emo boys, do as I say not as I do head ass. so I posted a video of turbo purring/snoring when I pet her behind the ears, and a friend responded w something along the lines about when her man snores heart eyes. and idk why that was so fucking romantic and one thought led to another and I just internalized it like loving a snore and how my father snores and if my mother loves that but then the snores became purrs and the purrs are the RX-7 engine that hums at 4:30 am to warm up the cabin to go earn a living to support his family, and I’m enamored by that hum, by that image of his visible exhales, steam from the cup of instant fodgers coffee, the exhaust blowing out the tail pipe. and I fall in love again and life is beautiful.

double dip.

im dropping this here bc maybe you dont or do care but that tab up there that reads zines ive seen is another blog for zines that well ive seen actually i own but i guess ive seen them too hahaha, sick virgo, jk idk what that means, but i know that i mean it, s/o sean daly, fucking wow two hip hop ass references. ok fr tho thats a lot of non sense. heres the actual entry thats going into that blog, THANOS by ALL BLACK is spinning incase u were wondering, but ok heres the entry.

“i dont want to over simplify or romanticize too much but Broken Dreams by Alex Magana bka @mvgvnv offers a wide variety experiences of a young mans life in modern day Southern California. ehhh that sounds mad dork squad, Alex is bad motherfucker with the camera, hes got the eye, and when you got it you fucking got it, the zine is a home fucking run. its pure as fuck doesnt feel forced. its fatty too, id say slide in his DMs but theyre long gone, if im not mistaken, they were made for a show Alex curated(again if my memory serves me bc well im aging baby) like 4 years ago now. Jose was in that show too, luv u bb. Do FOLLOW @mvgvnv and maybe youll be lucky enough to score the next. until next time DIYFTW SMDFTB DARK MEAT.”

oh yeah

gpoy don’t count, the plague finally got my ass, gotta burn that candle on both ends baby, life too brief to treat it like brittle. Anyway it’s giving me a “chance” to “catch” up on “projects” who’s the “dick” “head” now? “THIS” “GUY”. my baby says hi and that she had her first shower post op. okay back to working on Joe & L zine. ILY TTYL TCCIC KIT.

black & white

so I was driving home and pontificating pontificus thoughts, that’s a word b GOOGLE IT. dickhead. anyway shout out Brandon for lacing me w the ricoh GRii which I’m definitely now gonna use as a disposable bc have you seen portra price points? SUCK MY NEIGHBORS DICK. anyway I also came here to share this photo and in the spirit of this being the last film photo I share here for a while bc the website needs to be spruced up so digi ricoh from here on out, but here’s a photo that I fall in Love with over and over and over again. s/o Alex Ocana for that line.

Rigoberto

LOLOL dawg I really do love to romanticize shit, hahahaha dickhead b. fr tho, had beautiful moment driving out to this bar. The suns setting almost like an off switch today, or at least to me I didn’t see an actual sunset anyway it’s raining and shit, and “in the hood” off of Forever plays, and when the sirens & horns hits after rza’s rap threw me in a frenzy. I was transported to the shotgun seat in Rigo’s silver extended cab Toyota Tacoma, the first gen 😍, and it’s 40 minutes before school and this album is stuck on loop for the coming weeks. it was a warm memory, that’s it, nothing spectacular but just man. This and G&E Vol 1&2 by The Grouch & Eligh really take me back. Until the next time.

DIYFTW SMDFTB DARKMEAT

Beaty Ave.

Fin & Melen visited me in Washington the week of X-Mas. It was full of love and you know… shit talking, B slid through to take our fake family portrait.

Luv y’all 🤞🏼 4L

fake year wrap up

life’s life and that’s that right? we can all agree it’s tough and what not, we all buns we all tough. I’m thirty five now, and I m still romanticizing everything, still looking for beauty in agony. I’m listening to Uzi spit over T beats, writing this fake introspective entry. I went in my phone to share hits but even though I’ve developed hella film, I haven’t saved shit on the telly or even locally at home, I’m fucking up, here’s one of my signature run on sentences god bless me, bless you back, so here’s my favorite photo made this year. hella thanks to Fin & Frod for pointing this out and forcing me to run and snap the flickaroonie. Oh yeah Rest In Peace Ricky Powell dawg. oh yeah man’s was just walking around the park like the really went pushed this kids idk 8-10 times and dipped, long enough for me to run 60 feet, set & snapped like 3 frames. anyway.

DIYFTW SMDFTB DARKMEAT TCCIC KIT 4L 🤞🏼

Unconditional

life’s been weird, like a lot, and yeah life’s crazy but yeah whatever. here’s a set of photos I’m only sharing here, I love them very much. snapped on the g1 w the 28 on portra 400. hope you like as much as I do.

PS this new Sada Baby “Little While” song fucking slaps.

I miss tumblr

and the GPOY photo booth selfie posts. so here’s mine this morning, baked & caffeinated, working on wedding shit. and new diyftw.club projects. G2G SMDFTB

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